From Betsy Taylor

Dear Rud and Ann,

My heart and all my love are with you tonight. My mom wrote me today to tell me about Jay’s passing and I have been thinking of you all ever since.

I remember so well your inviting my shy, bumbling 15-year-old self to be one of Jay’s first babysitters. You were living in your little house near the Forest Theater in Chapel Hill, 1968? He was nearly 2 (maybe younger?), I think, the handsomest little guy with a full head of the most beautiful blonde curls! I remember not quite knowing what to do, so you invited us to sit on the floor, I think, and just play. Before I knew it, I had him in my lap, and we had developed our first game. I flopped my long hair over his head, and he would squeal and try to find his way out of it. Remember? We laughed and laughed, and that became our thing.

Later, I traveled to Little Moose Lake with you and got to spend lots of time with Jay and the Turnbull family. Together we spent a week fishing, swimming, playing, cooking, eating, playing, reading, hiking, playing. Throughout it all was Jay’s incredible smile and giggle … I will never forget how he could make me laugh in a second! That was also the summer that you taught me how to fish, how to drive a standard-shift jeep, and showed me around Baltimore (my first pizza with anchovies!). I got a great lesson in how to change diapers wherever and whenever it was needed!

Though I didn’t meet Jay again in person very much after he was about four (though I’ve seen pics, since we have stayed in touch a bit over the years), I have never forgotten him, as he is unforgettable. Getting to know Jay and the two of you was a pivotal time in my life in which I learned so much about what it means to love a child through and through.

I loved to see how much you delighted in your boy, and I loved the way it felt to be part of his life with the two of you – and especially to see his smile and hear his sweet coo and hello when I came to visit. It was just great to be around Jay – he had this wonderful capacity to spread love and to make me feel that I was the most special person in the world. I’m sure many people have said this to you over the years.

Rud and Ann, you have been very important in my life. I have always loved and respected you so much – the people you are and the work that you do. I remember when you were first meeting and courting, and how Ann just so easily and naturally fit into Jay's life - that was a wonderful thing to see. Thank you for staying in touch with me (though I wish I had done a better job of keeping up with you!) and thank you for entrusting me with your little guy oh so long ago. He and I had a unique bond that I truly will never forget. That bond extends to you as well, and always will.

I am thinking of you both, and your girls, and holding you all in my heart. Know how loved you are by all of your old Chapel Hill friends, me, my mom and my dad included.

With much love for you all, and especially, with much much love for Jay,

Betsy