Throughout our lives we hold many roles and are many things to many different people. Jay was no exception. He was a son, a grandson, a brother, an uncle, a friend, a boyfriend, a coworker, and . . . an inspiration to many more people the world over as his story became a part of your life's work.
In the past few years as I worked with Jay, I came to know him and considered him my friend. However, I regret that I did not take the time to get to know him better. Many times I thought of asking him to lunch, but decided instead that I needed to get more work done, save my money, and many other paltry excuses. And I sit today with great regret that on Monday, when I thought of asking Jay out to lunch as he passed by my office, I simply let him walk on by.
I am eternally grateful for having had Jay as a friend. Please know that my heart aches for you. My condolences to the entire Turnbull family.
Sincerely,
Judith Gross
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Ann and Rud,
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of all of you now at the visitation and trying to take myself to that place now....to support you all and to honor Jay. To think of how many people's lives have been altered by him..it is a little staggering. It sometimes seems that his life journey mirrors the changes (and revolutions)in disability services...it took 5-10 years for the advocacy efforts inspired by dysfunctional system to make it into some kind of systems-changing legislation...and then into textbooks and teachings that led to actual changes in practices. And this wasn't just a local effort...it was an international movement. A story from a friend of mine who is a professor of nursing in CA illustrates the point. She was consulting and presenting in Australia on family systems with an interdisciplinary group. Apparently the Turnbulls' teachings and textbooks came up in the conversation as being some of the most inspiring information on the subject, but one person commented something to the effect, "But I heard Ann Turnbull present and she had photos of Jay. I was shocked. It turns out he really doesn't have much of a disability at all. He is in a fraternity, goes to college, and looks perfectly normal." When I thought about the obstacles overturned to reach that point and the path that you cleared for so many others, I knew that this Australian was missing a big part of the story. And the wonder is that all of you have taken this journey with so much humour, laughter, and compassion for others. So tonight, to quote from what I think is one of Jay's favorite songs, "this little light of mine" is shining as I think of the wonder of Jay's life and what it has meant for some many people.
Professor Turnbull and Ann,
ReplyDeleteMy heart sank as I read the news of JT's passing just now. I have never met JT in person nor seen all of you together, but I know that he was very much loved and that he has also touched my life because he had influenced yours. I can only imagine the pain of a parent having to see the passing of a beloved son. I hope you can find strength from all the memories and love Jay Turnbull has given you in this difficult time.
With deepest sympathy,
Eunice Lee