From Cheryl Utley

Dear Ann & Rud,


I’m so sorry to hear of the untimely death of your son, Jay. I lost my father to an untimely death. Since that time, I have been searching to understand death and its true meaning. This search led me to understand death from a Buddhist perspective, one that alleviated fear, anger, sadness, and regret. Buddhism teaches that we repeat the cycle of birth and death continuously. Death can be likened to sleep. We feel rejuvenated when we wake from a good night’s rest. Similarly, we can view death as a time to refresh our lives for our next existence. Death then, just like sleep, is not something to be feared.

The second President of the Soka Gakkai, International, Josei Toda described rebirth as follows: “While our lives melt into the universe, they do not blend in with the lives of others. Each life retains its integrity and experiences joy and sadness depending on the person’s actions while alive – as though crying or laughing in a dream” (Lectures on the “Expedient Means” and “Life Span” chapters of the Lotus Sutra, vol. 3, p. 111). Compared to eternity, a short or long life makes little difference. What becomes important is that each of us strives to live a life of quality based on a sense of mission. The question becomes “What are you living for”?

Your son, Jay, had a profound mission during his lifetime that has enabled all of us to experience joy and happiness and know the true meaning of respect for the dignity of life.

Your friend
Cheryl Utley